There is little doubt that as a CASA we often feel like we are fighting a losing battle. One in which the climb is so steep it seems we will never reach the top. That no matter what we do, it's never enough. This week I want to share you a story of a boy whose battle is over and hopefully remind you why we fight.
People ask me all the time what they should do when they suspect abuse or neglect. "Call!" I reply with fervor and commitment and hopefully convince them that there is no other choice. A child is depending on you. But it's not always as easy as just picking up the phone. Neglect is much harder to report. This young man, we will call him Joshua, was neglected. No physical scars, but hunger and abandonment were the things that haunted him. Surrounded by an immediate family that was indifferent to his existence, he struggled everyday to find someone who would just validate his existence. Just acknowledge that he was breathing and that his breath mattered. I was lucky to be one of those people from time to time. I gave hugs, offered encouragement, teased with him a bit, laughed at his jokes. It was easy to do really, because although his behavior in class wasn't always up to par, he was a kid who was easy to like. A smile that lit up a room, a laugh that was infectious, and a voice that was old beyond his years. It was a bit raspy, and when he sang, it gave pause to those who were listening. And I knew about his hunger. I knew that he was neglected. I knew because he told me so. "Should I call? What would I say? That this young boy said it was so, so it must be true. Right?" But I didn't call.
Teachers, counselors, neighbors, even relatives knew it was bad. Collectively I am sure that we would have all been able to piece together an all too familiar tale of neglect and abuse that this young man and his siblings endured everyday. But it seems we all chose to help independently. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but looking back, perhaps there was. We spoke about him often to one another. Bemoaning his life and shaking our heads in dismay. "Poor boy," we would say.
On the last day of school there was a picnic and, as was typical, his parent chose not to attend. I offered my services as surrogate mom and he accepted. We ate hot dogs and chips and sat in the shade and talked and laughed. When my son and I got up to go, I gave him a hug, told him to call me if he needed anything this summer. Gave him a kiss on the top of his sweet head and waved goodbye. Four hours later he was in a hospital fighting for his life. Five hours after that, he was dead.
His death was an accident. No foul play involved. He wasn't beaten. He didn't starve to death. I am devastated as his death, but moreover I am crushed by his life. That so many of us stood by, "doing what we could" and that this young man who bravely got up out of bed everyday to face a world full of disappointment and instability, was allowed to flounder. We didn't do enough. I could have done more. His death has served as a reminder to me that it is not enough to just care. It is not enough to just "do my part". Someone must rally the troops for boys like Joshua and take the next step. Make the call. Be the difference.
When I told my boys about their friends death, they said to me, "Mom, it's okay. He had a hard life and he's in a better place now." I couldn't agree more.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Cab Ride
I arrived at the address and honked the horn.
After waiting a few minutes
I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a
Frail, elderly voice. I could hear something
Being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in
Her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a
Print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned
On it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie and by her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.
'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave
me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice.. 'The doctor says I don't have very
long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and
would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was
a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a
Portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a
wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse. Nothing,' I said.
'You have to make a living,' she
Answered.
'There are other
Passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. "Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully
wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~THEY WILL
ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM
FEEL.
You might help make the world a little kinder
and more compassionate random acts of
kindness that most benefit all of us.
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we're here, we might as well dance!
I arrived at the address and honked the horn.
After waiting a few minutes
I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a
Frail, elderly voice. I could hear something
Being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in
Her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a
Print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned
On it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie and by her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.
'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave
me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice.. 'The doctor says I don't have very
long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and
would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was
a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a
Portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a
wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse. Nothing,' I said.
'You have to make a living,' she
Answered.
'There are other
Passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. "Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully
wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY
WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~THEY WILL
ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM
FEEL.
You might help make the world a little kinder
and more compassionate random acts of
kindness that most benefit all of us.
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we're here, we might as well dance!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Layers and Two bad and good Traits
I sometimes feel like an onion...I know this sounds crazy.....Peel me back...sometimes I am raw and sometimes I am whole...sometimes I am cut and sometimes I am sliced...
Do you ever feel like God is apparent, translucent, and other times he is hiding from you? I felt that way last week and some this week! I have some issues on my mind and wish I could find time to pray for wisdom and relief...just some minimal personal struggles! I have a two bad traits that I would like to share......
Wasted time makes me cringe.
I'll admit it. I have a love affair with productivity. I do a lot in my life and partly that's because I do it fast. I talk fast, I move fast, I type fast, I blog fast. I've always gotten great satisfaction out of giving myself a short time frame in which to do something and conquering the task in the allotted time, and then rewarding myself. Usually by letting myself organize something fun. I'm stupid like that. I love using time wisely, getting my work out of the way so I can take the kids to the park or whatever. The flip side of this anal retentive character quality of mine is that wasted time makes me cringe. I don't mind if we're at a park, lounging in the sun, swinging the day away. That isn't wasted to me. True, I sometimes have to force myself and to enjoy the journey of life, not only the destinations.
We have boys.
In case you haven't noticed, we're a testosterone only family. I am the only female at home, besides the two dogs, Lucy and Annabelle, and guinea pigs (what are their names?).
"Field trip" or small adventures to parks or the mountains, or a different restaurant are my favorite. I love to leave on a whim and discover new and interesting places and things!
Going out and learning about life in the real world is an amazing way to learn. Our children are especially hands on learners, very active, and most of the time happy.
Because, really, who doesn't want to throw rocks into a river and spend quality time with your kids?
I am a VERY SCHEDULED PERSON
I LIKE to know what's for dinner and what we have going on that night, and often feel defeated and frustrated when things don't go the way I planned. Athough sometimes I don't plan things at all and I like it that way...weird..I know....I do on the other time love to go out on a whem and go, do, and have fun!
How on earth do my two traits coincide? Not so well sometimes and I need God's guidance and often, but don't always seek him...frustrating I know....uggh
So I come to you Lord and ask for Control and Strength to make my rambling known!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Alone
Well it is the one time of the year that Sam goes away with several of his friends for a weekend of fun, soccer, and of course 6th street. He goes to Austin for the state soccer tournament and I get to stay home alone...technically not alone....am I ever alone....who are these kids following me and why are they calling me mom??...Oh well, he deserves it, but I get stuck with all his duties and mine, uggh. So tonight I will be coaching for him and Saturday morning, i ditest....So off to a weekend full of teaching (me for work), coaching soccer and some swimming pool clean up...my idea of a great time?? I guess not??
Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name. When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them. With long life I will satisfy them, and show them my salvation.(Psalm 91:14-16)
Monday, April 5, 2010
Not Me Monday
I most certainly did not get really uncomfortable at a soccer game and remove my bra through my sleeve and then put it in my purse because it was so uncomfortable. I then did certainly not attend the entire soccer game braless. I most certainly did not accidently let out a small poot and blame it on someone else in the room! I most certainly did not sniff around my son's cast almost daily to make sure that it was not smelly. I most certainly did not give my son a good yelling at when he made a bad grade and then to find out, the teacher had made a mistake and he did ok, not me I am always right and never make mistakes, cause that's how I roll.
Friday, April 2, 2010
A Very "Good Friday"
Have you ever wondered why the church calls today “Good Friday”? What’s so “good” about the fact that the One who Christians acknowledge as their “Savior” died such a horrible and “unexpected” death?
As humans, isn’t it hard for us to see death as a good thing? Most of us will spend all of our lives living in fear of death…doing all we can to avoid death. Many of us try to eat right, exercise, and stay generally healthy so that we can live long lives…and the rest of us feel guilty about not eating right and exercising.
But, Jesus said that He came to the earth, to live for a short 33 years, to have a public ministry of just 3 years, and to die, all so that we might be able to live an abundant life. To our simple human brains, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The idea that death can bring life is what we would call a “paradox”.
A paradox is a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement, idea, person or thing that is true or may be true. In other words, a paradox is something that is true even though it might not seem to make any sense to our human intellect.
For example, the statement, “This sentence if false” is a paradox. If the statement is true, then the statement is false. In which case, the statement is true, which means the statement is false...and so on for infinity.
Another paradox: “You can't get work without experience, but you can't get experience without work.” Somebody explain to me how exactly that’s supposed to play out.
How about this: “The customer is always right.” So, if two customers say that the other is wrong, both are right, and therefore, both are wrong that they are both right that they are both wrong that they are both right that they are both wrong, etc.
God is a God of paradox. For example, have you ever tried to think about the fact that God “Always has been”? For God, there never was a beginning. That’s a hard thing for us to wrap our minds around, considering we know without doubt that everything we experience as humans had a beginning at some point, even if we weren’t there to witness it.
Or, how about the idea of The Trinity – God is One and Three all at the same time. Even our best attempts as humans to explain this idea fall short. Maybe you’ve heard somebody use water to illustrate the Trinity of God…water can be a solid, liquid and gas. But, water cannot be all three of those things at the same time.
And, just as God often reveals Himself as a paradox, Jesus’ life on this earth was a paradox…listen to this:
JESUS had no servants, yet they called Him MASTER...
JESUS had no degree, yet they called Him TEACHER...
JESUS had no medicine, yet they called Him HEALER...
JESUS had no army, yet KINGS feared Him...
JESUS won no military battles, yet He CONQUERED the WORLD...
JESUS committed no crime, yet they CRUCIFIED Him...
JESUS was buried in a tomb, yet He LIVES TODAY...
It probably seems odd to most people outside of the church that Christians would gather together once a year to remember and celebrate the anniversary of Jesus’ death, but it’s because of this paradox, that Jesus’ death means life for you and I, that we have reason to celebrate. Death on a cross is a gruesome thing…bloody and painful and humiliating. Yet, there is a beauty in the death of Jesus, knowing that He willingly died because of His great love for us.
As humans, isn’t it hard for us to see death as a good thing? Most of us will spend all of our lives living in fear of death…doing all we can to avoid death. Many of us try to eat right, exercise, and stay generally healthy so that we can live long lives…and the rest of us feel guilty about not eating right and exercising.
But, Jesus said that He came to the earth, to live for a short 33 years, to have a public ministry of just 3 years, and to die, all so that we might be able to live an abundant life. To our simple human brains, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. The idea that death can bring life is what we would call a “paradox”.
A paradox is a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement, idea, person or thing that is true or may be true. In other words, a paradox is something that is true even though it might not seem to make any sense to our human intellect.
For example, the statement, “This sentence if false” is a paradox. If the statement is true, then the statement is false. In which case, the statement is true, which means the statement is false...and so on for infinity.
Another paradox: “You can't get work without experience, but you can't get experience without work.” Somebody explain to me how exactly that’s supposed to play out.
How about this: “The customer is always right.” So, if two customers say that the other is wrong, both are right, and therefore, both are wrong that they are both right that they are both wrong that they are both right that they are both wrong, etc.
God is a God of paradox. For example, have you ever tried to think about the fact that God “Always has been”? For God, there never was a beginning. That’s a hard thing for us to wrap our minds around, considering we know without doubt that everything we experience as humans had a beginning at some point, even if we weren’t there to witness it.
Or, how about the idea of The Trinity – God is One and Three all at the same time. Even our best attempts as humans to explain this idea fall short. Maybe you’ve heard somebody use water to illustrate the Trinity of God…water can be a solid, liquid and gas. But, water cannot be all three of those things at the same time.
And, just as God often reveals Himself as a paradox, Jesus’ life on this earth was a paradox…listen to this:
JESUS had no servants, yet they called Him MASTER...
JESUS had no degree, yet they called Him TEACHER...
JESUS had no medicine, yet they called Him HEALER...
JESUS had no army, yet KINGS feared Him...
JESUS won no military battles, yet He CONQUERED the WORLD...
JESUS committed no crime, yet they CRUCIFIED Him...
JESUS was buried in a tomb, yet He LIVES TODAY...
It probably seems odd to most people outside of the church that Christians would gather together once a year to remember and celebrate the anniversary of Jesus’ death, but it’s because of this paradox, that Jesus’ death means life for you and I, that we have reason to celebrate. Death on a cross is a gruesome thing…bloody and painful and humiliating. Yet, there is a beauty in the death of Jesus, knowing that He willingly died because of His great love for us.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
STRESS
LOOK at the 4000 dollar smile, priceless!!
Stress- a feeling that's created when we react to particular events. It's the body's way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation ...
So how do you deal with stress? I usually break down and cry, but this week doesen't allow...that's right...I don't have time! Let me just say we had a great week last week on spring break and did basically nothing,. no agenda, no practices (ok only 3) and it was very low key. We did have Cayden again most of the week, but other than that it was relaxing. This week nope....It started out Sunday...
1. Laundry-catch up, fold, put up times 6! (7 if you count Cayden)
2. Spencer hurt his arm (later we find out broke his arm)
3. Tanner gets his braces off
4. Spencer (3 doc appts.)
5. Me have to work and work in all the appointments and reschedule lots of work stuff, plus 2 reports, uggh...
6. Getting ready for CASA class, yes I am teaching the 30 hour class the next two months....lots of prep...lots of overtime....experience
7. Sam's in the playoffs and I am suppose to work about 60 hours this week!!!
Now that your stressed out, bring it on STRESS, I can handle you!!
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